Everyone has certain fears.  To say you don’t is denying being human.  A fear that most people deal with from the biggest celebrity to the woman next door is the fear of failure.  No one wants to fail, no matter how small the potential failure might be. Fear of failure can keep you up at night and keep you from trying new things. A fear of failure is the major reason most women never reach their full potential. 

One  huge difference between women who achieve the life they want to live and other women is that they learn to face their fears and control them.  They refuse to let the fear of failure control them or hold them back. Decide to stop letting the fear of failure steal the goodness you deserve and desire in life.  Here are a few keys to get fear under control. 

1. Keep the Big Picture in View. Stop looking at the little picture in a situation. Instead, step back and look at the big picture.  In the whole scheme of things, in the whole of your life, how big is the situation that you really fear? Are you trying to get a job and afraid you won’t?  What’s the worse that can happen?  Are you trying a new business and afraid it won’t work out?  What can you do to be sure that it will work out instead?  Stepping back to take a bigger look at the situation takes away a lot of fear because you realize exactly how the situation fits into a bigger picture. 

2. Take a Positive Outlook. One reason fear can set in and stifle your actions is because you start off thinking negative.  If all you think about is how awful something is going to be, of course you’re going to have fear.  In fact, that means you start to create the foundation for the failure to happen.  Remember, what you concentrate on you draw to you. If you really think you are going to fail, the likelihood is that you will.  As bad as it sounds, you usually get the desire of your heart in life. 

You might not think that you are drawing failure to yourself but thinking only negative is doing just that.  Adjust your thinking.  Start thinking about how wonderful it will be when you have a positive outcome instead. Say a prayer, recite positive affirmations and do positive visualizations of the best outcome possible. 

3. Stop and Breathe.  Does fear seem to overtake you sometimes?  Does it make you feel like you can’t even breathe?  There’s absolutely nothing wrong with taking a few moments throughout the day when needed to step back, take a few deep breathes and stop feeling overwhelmed by the fear.  Often, fears are built up in the mind more than the actual reality of them. 

That’s not to negate that sometimes you really might have some terrible things to fear. That’s a whole different story.  But the majority of time, things are not as bad as you  make them out to be.  When you start to feel the panic of fear taking control of you and your decisions or reactions, step back, recognize the fear, become conscious of it, and assess it. Define the reason you’re afraid, analyze it and decide what you’re going to do about it. Take control of the emotion instead of letting the emotion take control of you.

4. What’s the Real Issue?  Fear is often about something that is hidden from your immediate thoughts.  In other words, you might think you’re afraid of one thing when it’s really another.  For example, say you get invited to a networking event that would be great to grow your business.  At first, it sounds great, but then you start to get afraid. You might think it’s because you don’t want to meet new people or that you won’t have anything appropriate to wear.

Instead of stopping to think about what you’re afraid of you allow an unconscious fear to keep you from something you really need to.   Stop to analyze what your feelings.  Perhaps you know that people at that networking event will have to make a short introduction of themselves and their business.  The idea of speaking in front of others is what you really fear. When you analyze a situation, take control of it.  Plan your presentation well ahead of time.  Practice it until you feel comfortable. Instead of letting an unconscious fear keep you back, figure out what you’re afraid of and do something about the fear.

5. Prepare Yourself Better. Fear of failure is often based on not feeling prepared to meet new challenges that confront you either in an expected or unexpected way. When you don’t feel equipped to meet challenges you become afraid to get caught unprepared.  But you will always feel that way if you run from challenges instead of meeting them head on. 

The only thing to do is get prepared.  If necessary, take courses to improve your knowledge in a certain area. Get coaching or mentoring from someone with a lot of experience in the areas you want to learn. Go to museums, take trips and meet new people. Listen to opinions, read books, and watch movies in another language. Your mind is yours to grow so take control of what you know and increase your knowledge to overcome fear of failing in new areas.

When it comes to fear, you have two choices – control your fear or let it control you. Accept that feeling fear is simply a part of being human. The choice is yours to learn how to control your fears so you can succeed anyway.