Why Do You Hold Back?

Does it feel like you’re holding back on your real purpose and talents?  Do you feel that you’re only living life half way?  Don’t get too hard on yourself if that’s what you feel.  There seems to be some type of epidemic going on with professional, mid-life women. 

Today I had the chance to really get down and real on this topic with some good gal friends.  I told them that I’m revamping my life, business, and approach to things.  I’m letting go of stuff that just isn’t working anymore.  Sure it means walking away from projects that have taken a lot of time and money.  (The money part hurt somewhat I must admit).  But I had to figure out that it was time to just “cut bait” as they say. I came to the realization that I’m throwing good money after bad by trying to make something work that isn’t going to get anywhere.

Sure , my ideas were good, if I wanted to work half-way for the rest of my life. Instead of looking at my true talents and abilities, I had become a copy cat. Just like the thousands or maybe even tens of thousands of other people on or off the Internet, I had put my talents into a little box that only repeated what others were doing but in a different way. 

I had let go of what makes me unique.  So I had to stop, do some really hard praying about it and make the decision to start over again – fresh.

I’m feeling great now and I wanted to share this with my buddies.  Sometimes you have to just know when to stop and start over again. The time is now – not tomorrow or another day from now.  The time is now.  When you know it’s time to start living fully, you have to stop holding back with your life.

What Does Holding Back Do?

If you think about it, not living your life fully has no benefits for you or anyone else.  Here’s what I’ve found holding back does (these are not in any particular order) :

1. Frustrates you.  You live frustrated everyday. You can end the day looking back and wondering “what did I achieve today – anything?”  That comes from living outside of your purpose. You can’t feel like you’ve progressed or added to the goodness of life because whatever you did for that day didn’t take you any higher in knowing or being.  It was just a repeat of yesterday and the day before.

2. Keeps You Depressed. Depression is a lot of what it says – something that presses you down. The feeling of being heavy and carrying useful weights is a sign of depression. You don’t feel that your mind is working fully.  In fact, you might even worry that you’re not thinking straight and might be “losing it.”  You’re not challenging yourself to think better.  Holding back requires that you don’t come up with new ideas or better thoughts.  It requires maintaining a depressed point of view.

3. Makes You “Un-Exciting”: Do you know any woman, including you that doesn’t want to be considered an exciting person?  It’s only natural to want to be someone others have an interest in.  But holding back on your life talents and real purpose means you have nothing to add to the conversations that surround you.  The best you can do is just agree or disagree with what others are saying.  Sometimes you can’t even do that because you’ve stopped having confidence in your opinions. It’s exciting to have ideas and thoughts but holding back doesn’t allow that to happen.

4. You Stop Seeing the Light: Something that keeps people going when times get difficult it’s knowing there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. That means you see that spark of hope to get you through the tough times.  But holding back means you’re not moving forward towards anything.  You’re essentially standing still. You don’t want to move out of your comfort zone because you’ll have to think about new things.  Instead, you go where you’re accustomed to going, do what you always do, read the same books over again and watch the same TY shows – and a lot of reruns.  You avoid the light and put a screen over anything that might try to shine through. Living in the dark is how you stay on hold.

5. You Live Cluttered: Have you stopped to consider that holding back means keeping yourself surrounded by old stuff, too much stuff and a never -ending to-do list?  Clutter can constipate life flow. Instead of getting new ideas you’re always trying to finish up old stuff.  Instead of getting something new and fashionable to wear, you put on the same old thing you’ve worn for five years and never feel comfortable and beautiful. Instead of trashing junk you keep it in case it pays off but all that does is take up space where something of beauty should be. Holding back means holding on to what no longer has usefulness in your life.  You have to let go to move ahead.

I suppose the question still remain “why do you hold back?'” Hopefully putting some of the things out in front that result in holding back will jog something in your mind to make you think about this.  Why do you hold back?  When you do you intend to start living?

Confident Enough to Succeed

Having confidence in yourself is a first step towards success.  Without true confidence you might get some hit and miss successes but sustained success will be difficult to achieve. Here are a few tips to help you gain the confidence to succeed.

1. Check Your Thoughts. Surely you’ve heard about positive thinking but have you heard about the importance of applying this to yourself. Have you ever stopped to think about how you think about yourself?  If you hold negative thoughts about yourself on a regular basis you won’t be able to build your confidence. Think positive self-thoughts to start on the road to building lasting self-confidence.

2. Forgive and Forget. Everyone messes up in life but self-forgiveness is one of the toughest things to do.  You don’t have to live in regret for mistakes you’ve made for the rest of your life.  Forgive yourself and do what you can to make what was wrong, right again.  Then move on and turn what happened into a life lesson that lets you know what not to do again.  Forget about the mistake but remember the lesson learned.

3. Respect Your Purpose.  Everyone is born with a purpose in life.  That means you have something to share with the world. The part of the world you might affect could be just one other person; but that is still necessary to do.  Stop worrying just about yourself and your own position. Think about the bigger picture of why you’re here and your confidence will start to grow again because you’re focused on helping others.  

4. Enhance Your Image. Do you have concerns about your appearance? Does how you look steal your confidence away?  Then do something about your image.  Go to a store and ask for help in selecting styles that are fashionable and look good on you. You don’t have to spend a lot of money on an outfit; just find out your style. You can find pieces for a wardrobe in different places even consignment or thrift stores to start.  Learn to select quality, style and a good fit.  That’s a great start to building a more confident image.

5. Don’t Take it Personally.  Things happen that might hurt your feelings; but it’s important to not take things personally all of the time.  Some things are going to occur if you’re around or not.  You might feel slighted but if you hadn’t been there, would the same thing have happened to someone else?  If so, don’t take the situation personally.  Learning that it’s not always about you is important to be able to get over problems and move on to the next life event.

6. Say “No” to a Bad Day.  Don’t let other people spoil your day. When you let others have control over whether or not you will have a good day, you give them the power over your emotions.  For instance, what if a person walks into your workplace in a bad mood?   That’s not your problem unless you allow that person to affect your mood.  Don’t let that person’s attitude provoke you into saying or doing something you’ll regret.  Just think in a positive way and consider how you can deal with the situation in a way that will make things better for everyone involved.  

7. Keep Going. Sure things get tough. That’s a part of life.  In fact, it is true that the more you learn to deal with in life the more you will face even more difficult issues.  This increases your skills, life lessons and abilities to take a lead in decision making and in your life.  You can only get to this level if you keep going and don’t give up with the going gets tough.  Get the mentoring you need to go through tough times. Find out how others have made hard decisions and seek the wisdom of mentors to help you grow.  Just keep going until you reach your goals and you will find that you have the confidence to succeed.

Why Do You Hold Back?

Does it feel like you’re holding back on your real purpose and talents?  Do you feel that you’re only living life half way?  Don’t get too hard on yourself if that’s what you feel.  There seems to be some type of epidemic going on with professional, mid-life women. 

Today I had the chance to really get down and real on this topic with some good gal friends.  I told them that I’m revamping my life, business, and approach to things.  I’m letting go of stuff that just isn’t working anymore.  Sure it means walking away from projects that have taken a lot of time and money.  (The money part hurt somewhat I must admit).  But I had to figure out that it was time to just “cut bait” as they say. I came to the realization that I’m throwing good money after bad by trying to make something work that isn’t going to get anywhere.

Sure , my ideas were good, if I wanted to work half-way for the rest of my life. Instead of looking at my true talents and abilities, I had become a copy cat. Just like the thousands or maybe even tens of thousands of other people on or off the Internet, I had put my talents into a little box that only repeated what others were doing but in a different way. 

I had let go of what makes me unique.  So I had to stop, do some really hard praying about it and make the decision to start over again – fresh.

I’m feeling great now and I wanted to share this with my buddies.  Sometimes you have to just know when to stop and start over again. The time is now – not tomorrow or another day from now.  The time is now.  When you know it’s time to start living fully, you have to stop holding back with your life.

What Does Holding Back Do?

If you think about it, not living your life fully has no benefits for you or anyone else.  Here’s what I’ve found holding back does (these are not in any particular order) :

1. Frustrates you.  You live frustrated everyday. You can end the day looking back and wondering “what did I achieve today – anything?”  That comes from living outside of your purpose. You can’t feel like you’ve progressed or added to the goodness of life because whatever you did for that day didn’t take you any higher in knowing or being.  It was just a repeat of yesterday and the day before.

2. Keeps You Depressed. Depression is a lot of what it says – something that presses you down. The feeling of being heavy and carrying useful weights is a sign of depression. You don’t feel that your mind is working fully.  In fact, you might even worry that you’re not thinking straight and might be “losing it.”  You’re not challenging yourself to think better.  Holding back requires that you don’t come up with new ideas or better thoughts.  It requires maintaining a depressed point of view.

3. Makes You “Un-Exciting”: Do you know any woman, including you that doesn’t want to be considered an exciting person?  It’s only natural to want to be someone others have an interest in.  But holding back on your life talents and real purpose means you have nothing to add to the conversations that surround you.  The best you can do is just agree or disagree with what others are saying.  Sometimes you can’t even do that because you’ve stopped having confidence in your opinions. It’s exciting to have ideas and thoughts but holding back doesn’t allow that to happen.

4. You Stop Seeing the Light: Something that keeps people going when times get difficult it’s knowing there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. That means you see that spark of hope to get you through the tough times.  But holding back means you’re not moving forward towards anything.  You’re essentially standing still. You don’t want to move out of your comfort zone because you’ll have to think about new things.  Instead, you go where you’re accustomed to going, do what you always do, read the same books over again and watch the same TY shows – and a lot of reruns.  You avoid the light and put a screen over anything that might try to shine through. Living in the dark is how you stay on hold.

5. You Live Cluttered: Have you stopped to consider that holding back means keeping yourself surrounded by old stuff, too much stuff and a never -ending to-do list?  Clutter can constipate life flow. Instead of getting new ideas you’re always trying to finish up old stuff.  Instead of getting something new and fashionable to wear, you put on the same old thing you’ve worn for five years and never feel comfortable and beautiful. Instead of trashing junk you keep it in case it pays off but all that does is take up space where something of beauty should be. Holding back means holding on to what no longer has usefulness in your life.  You have to let go to move ahead.

I suppose the question still remain “why do you hold back?'” Hopefully putting some of the things out in front that result in holding back will jog something in your mind to make you think about this.  Why do you hold back?  When you do you intend to start living?