Why Do You Hold Back?

Does it feel like you’re holding back on your real purpose and talents?  Do you feel that you’re only living life half way?  Don’t get too hard on yourself if that’s what you feel.  There seems to be some type of epidemic going on with professional, mid-life women. 

Today I had the chance to really get down and real on this topic with some good gal friends.  I told them that I’m revamping my life, business, and approach to things.  I’m letting go of stuff that just isn’t working anymore.  Sure it means walking away from projects that have taken a lot of time and money.  (The money part hurt somewhat I must admit).  But I had to figure out that it was time to just “cut bait” as they say. I came to the realization that I’m throwing good money after bad by trying to make something work that isn’t going to get anywhere.

Sure , my ideas were good, if I wanted to work half-way for the rest of my life. Instead of looking at my true talents and abilities, I had become a copy cat. Just like the thousands or maybe even tens of thousands of other people on or off the Internet, I had put my talents into a little box that only repeated what others were doing but in a different way. 

I had let go of what makes me unique.  So I had to stop, do some really hard praying about it and make the decision to start over again – fresh.

I’m feeling great now and I wanted to share this with my buddies.  Sometimes you have to just know when to stop and start over again. The time is now – not tomorrow or another day from now.  The time is now.  When you know it’s time to start living fully, you have to stop holding back with your life.

What Does Holding Back Do?

If you think about it, not living your life fully has no benefits for you or anyone else.  Here’s what I’ve found holding back does (these are not in any particular order) :

1. Frustrates you.  You live frustrated everyday. You can end the day looking back and wondering “what did I achieve today – anything?”  That comes from living outside of your purpose. You can’t feel like you’ve progressed or added to the goodness of life because whatever you did for that day didn’t take you any higher in knowing or being.  It was just a repeat of yesterday and the day before.

2. Keeps You Depressed. Depression is a lot of what it says – something that presses you down. The feeling of being heavy and carrying useful weights is a sign of depression. You don’t feel that your mind is working fully.  In fact, you might even worry that you’re not thinking straight and might be “losing it.”  You’re not challenging yourself to think better.  Holding back requires that you don’t come up with new ideas or better thoughts.  It requires maintaining a depressed point of view.

3. Makes You “Un-Exciting”: Do you know any woman, including you that doesn’t want to be considered an exciting person?  It’s only natural to want to be someone others have an interest in.  But holding back on your life talents and real purpose means you have nothing to add to the conversations that surround you.  The best you can do is just agree or disagree with what others are saying.  Sometimes you can’t even do that because you’ve stopped having confidence in your opinions. It’s exciting to have ideas and thoughts but holding back doesn’t allow that to happen.

4. You Stop Seeing the Light: Something that keeps people going when times get difficult it’s knowing there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. That means you see that spark of hope to get you through the tough times.  But holding back means you’re not moving forward towards anything.  You’re essentially standing still. You don’t want to move out of your comfort zone because you’ll have to think about new things.  Instead, you go where you’re accustomed to going, do what you always do, read the same books over again and watch the same TY shows – and a lot of reruns.  You avoid the light and put a screen over anything that might try to shine through. Living in the dark is how you stay on hold.

5. You Live Cluttered: Have you stopped to consider that holding back means keeping yourself surrounded by old stuff, too much stuff and a never -ending to-do list?  Clutter can constipate life flow. Instead of getting new ideas you’re always trying to finish up old stuff.  Instead of getting something new and fashionable to wear, you put on the same old thing you’ve worn for five years and never feel comfortable and beautiful. Instead of trashing junk you keep it in case it pays off but all that does is take up space where something of beauty should be. Holding back means holding on to what no longer has usefulness in your life.  You have to let go to move ahead.

I suppose the question still remain “why do you hold back?'” Hopefully putting some of the things out in front that result in holding back will jog something in your mind to make you think about this.  Why do you hold back?  When you do you intend to start living?